The Do’s and Don’ts of Swinging You HAVE to Follow
How can you make sure nothing goes wrong when you swap partners while swinging? How can exchanging partners be good for the relationship? Find out about the do’s and don’ts of swingers right here.
Although the majority of swinging will end up involving lovemaking and getting frisky with each other’s partners, it isn’t all about just that. Swinging is about building up the atmosphere of warmth and belonging.
Whether you are at a party with another couple or with another person for a threesome, you will be having a great time eating, drinking and chatting. To get into the comfort zone, building camaraderie with someone is essential to get down on the knees later.
Swingers can differentiate between fun and friendship. The love and companionship provided by their existing relationship is bare and transparent. There are no rough edges anywhere and they make sure of that or there may be trouble.
Thus, though swingers may have many sexual relationships, only a single emotional relationship exists. Although close friendships are formed within the community, swingers often feel nothing is more important than their own partner. The friendships and companionship among swingers strengthen the primary stem of the relationship rather than damage it.
How can Swinging help your Relationship?
Swingers lay claim that lovemaking is more intimate because they are with a partner who encourages their fantasies. The partner is so confident that jealousy is not an issue. Swingers also vouch that swinging makes infidelity less likely, as they know they can have physical contact with others with their partner’s consent.
Various responses exist to those who object to swinging on the basis of faith. Many swingers feel their activities in their own homes or private clubs are not for others’ justification. Others believe that as long as they consider their relationships sacred, playing does not contradict the sanctity and is consistent with spiritual values. Two additional considerations should be made when it comes to swinging. The first is that the couple defines cheating. As long as the couple have a definition and stay within their boundaries, no cheating would occur. Secondly, some argue that adultery is incongruent with the original definition.
Another common response to moral and philosophical objections is that there is a difference between physical intimacy and love. Contradictorily, this is one of the objections that religious groups have, that this distinction should not exist, meaning both physical intimacy and love should be the same physical agenda.
The Do’s and Don’ts of Swinging
Be truthful and honest when you talk to your partner about your feelings. If you feel jealous of your partner, or have any other uncomfortable feelings about the whole sexual step, tell your partner. If you don’t, they will only come out later and be much more awkward and damaging.
Once you get to the swingers’ joint, be yourself and don’t pretend to be someone else. Being friendly, good-natured and exuding a warm aura has a positive effect on everyone. Leaving your inhibitions at home, both physical and social is a must as it can interfere with your swinging pleasure.
You can’t expect to get much out of a swingers’ party if you aren’t prepared to put much in. Stay close to your partner but not in a clingy way as it may ward off others from approaching either of you. Know your needs, interests and desires and let everyone know about them. Practice safe sex and don’t go beyond limits, even if you intend to try new things.
Are you ready to swap partners?
Don’t be Pushy
Invite someone you’re interested in, in a clean manner and leave the decision-making to them. Don’t ask them for reasons or explanations, even if it’s your partner. Don’t carry on your sweet talking to convince someone if they’ve declined. You’d only drive a nail through your relationship. Don’t overindulge in alcohol. Don’t take someone who isn’t interested and not informed, about the actual course of the night.
Don’t take a Ticket
Don’t take a ‘ticket’ to a swingers’ party (a ticket is the one who goes just to get you in and not to take part). Don’t disturb the swinging pleasures of others. Don’t be rude and try to cheat or lie. Don’t give personal details to anyone at the party if you aren’t comfortable. Don’t be vague about your desires. Don’t cross other people’s limits.
Are you sure about this?
Swinging isn’t for everyone. People need to discuss between themselves, the different factors including jealousy, self-esteem, or any relationship problems, prior to entering into the swinging lifestyle. If any of these areas are of major concern to either person, then chances are, you aren’t ready to enjoy the swinging lifestyle and all of its benefits.
Why are you swinging, really?
It is to be noted that swinging is to enhance your relationship, not to repair or rebuild it. A couple receptive to new and different sexual experiences will begin to explore different avenues of shared sexual fulfillment to continue to grow together. Couples who want to find a way to reconnect physically and emotionally are more likely to make it through a swingers’ party together.
It provides sexual variety, adventure, and the opportunity to live out fantasies as a couple without secrecy and deceit. But never ever join a swinging community and use that as an excuse to cheat on your partner.
Swinging, if done respectfully, can enhance your relationship by a mile. But then again, it is wicked ideas like these that make sentences like the next one appear. Do it if you want, stay away if you want, because indulgences like these really are to each their own
The 10 Rules of Swinging
What should you know about swinging before you try to swing with your partner? Here are the ten most important rules that every swinger couple should know and follow to make sure you have a good time while swapping partners.
Like any other human activity, swinging also has its pros and cons. A few basic laid down principles can make swinging fun and foul-free, every time.
One goes, both go
Come as a couple and leave as one. It is not preferable if one goes while the other lags behind. Always go hand in hand without leaving your partner behind. Swinging is safer and easier if both partners are comfortable indulging in it. It is a team game. Not a solo affair.
Arriving at the correct time applies here as well. Turning up late at a party is a turn-off. By the time you’re in, the night would be in full swing. You’d only end up making people who are already in the act feel awkward. You won’t know where to fit in too. Inform the host beforehand if you are going to be late. Or you may not be invited again.
The lifestyle of the swingers isn’t a piece of cake. Sometimes it is complex and complicated with lots of insecurities and uncertainties. Courtesy is the key to ease up. Behave with people just like you would like them to behave towards you. Be sensible, thoughtful and understanding.
RSVP to Invitations
Even if you don’t wish to attend, answer to all invitations. It is very annoying for a host if they don’t know how many people are going to turn up. Reply by phone or mail and express your gratitude for the invitation.
Gift for the Host
Don’t go to a party empty-handed. Ask the host about what you could get for them. Get something racy or simple for the hosts every time you attend a swingers’ party. See, it’s just like a normal party, isn’t it?
The Right Attire
Wear clothes that are practical and will be comfortable for you as the night progresses. Carrying a robe or a negligee is a good idea. Take only as much cash as you require. Keep your bling, jewelry and other valuables to the bare minimum. Losing them will be headache to you and an embarrassment to the hosts.
Health and Hygiene
Oral hygiene is a basic necessity for everyone. Bad breath or body odor is a big turn-off for your potential partners. Shower and groom well before you leave for the party. Good cologne, perfumes or body sprays will give you the edge in the environment. The best way to enjoy the party is by freshening up as you reach there.
The whole idea is to have fun and enjoy your time there, so participate in activities that make you feel comfortable. Don’t let anyone pressurize you to do something you don’t like. This may be the most important one. Approach every activity with an open mind and positive attitude. Act out your fantasies, and enjoy yourself.
The Right to say ‘NO’
This is the fundamental etiquette in swinging, the right to say ‘no’. It is simple and straightforward, and polite to say ‘no, thank you’. Explanations and alibis aren’t required as these may cause embarrassment and hurt you. You shouldn’t be afraid to decline an invitation. It is the only way to avoid doing something you might regret afterwards. And that might just create more ill-feelings and embarrassment.
Be a friend to all, even if you don’t want to extend the night or don’t have any interest in getting physical with someone. You may catch a vibe by being nice with the others in the community. They may put you across to people who you may be interested in.
Swinging can be every bit as invigorating, exciting and fulfilling as you can ever imagine. It opens a window to explore your favorite fantasies in safe mode. You and your partner can work out in private, and yet you can enjoy another couple or get a group swing in just one evening.
Meeting new interesting people and making bold friends are potential side-effects of swinging. Swinging also has the common positive effect of enhancing your relationship and personal life to a great extent. The positive feeling about yourself, your mate, and your relationship is the most important factor while swinging.
How to Start Swinging with your Partner
Still interested in knowing more about swinging and the swingers lifestyle? Find out about the different types of couple swinging and everything else that you should know about how to start swinging with your partner.
How to start swinging
Do couples actually swing in real life? Why do couples swing in the first place?
As complex as our anatomical set up and mind, our nature, characteristics, lifestyle and social behaviors are unique phenomena too.
We have an insatiable appetite for at least one thing in life, be it food or intimacy, as examples.
Leaving food on the table, we stray into a familiar territory to take a dig on an act of physical intimacy. Intimacy is a term stretched to every direction and now it’s slanting towards swingers and couples that want to start swinging.
Swinging is a non-monogamous activity of physical intimacy treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple. It has a recreational perspective. Swingers indulge in intimate acts with someone other than one’s spouse/primary partner, with the full knowledge and consent of that person.
Swingers have been thriving since the beginning of recorded time. In the era of flower power, swinging was a very “in-thing” and among the most popular “culture”. It has had different social standings through time, of course! The phenomenon of swinging may be seen as part of the revolution of recent decades.
Swinging is like a sport for people who believe physical attraction is part of human nature and should be openly enjoyed by a committed or married couple.
Typically, swinging activities occur when a married or otherwise committed couple engages in carnal activities with another couple, multiple couples, or a single individual. The most common method is an adult male and female couple, meeting other pairs for lovemaking and physical intimacy, and sometimes ongoing intimate relationships. The activity may occur at a swing party, a couple-to-couple encounter, a liaison, or with a third person in a threesome.
How to start swinging – The different types of swinging couples
During these events, swingers acknowledge lovemaking as a game and participants as team-mates. There are few ground rules, but none etched in stone. The prominent carnal activities, but definitely not limited to, are several to mention, but a few of the most popular ones include:
It is the form of pleasure which involves making out with a partner while being watched by at least one other person.
Watching others doing or performing the big bang. It is acceptable in the group event, but not in private areas.
It involves kissing and stroking and the basics in blowing a guy or tickling a girl down south, with multiple partners. This can be indulged during the threesome, group romp, or while swapping partners.
This is to have penetrative physical sex with someone other than one’s partner. The idea is almost the definition of swinging, but not necessarily the same.
This term signifies the activities involving multiple players in the same lay-out. It usually defines a group of four or more people interacting physically. The most common is two couples, although it can be any gender of four or more people.
Ménage a Trios
Also known as threesomes, this is one of the most common methods of starting in the swinging lifestyle for beginners. A lot of couples will carry on with threesomes long after they become an integral part in swinging. In this, all three involved people interact with each other in bed.
These include things such as spanking, bondage, and water sports. The majority of these are very uncommon at most swingers’ parties unless the hosts have chosen a theme for the night, in which case you will be notified well before the night of the party.
People of the same gender interacting with each other sexually. This is much more common between women than men, but it doesn’t mean every woman will indulge in it. Bisexuality between men is extremely rare in the swinging community, and is usually frowned upon if not organized prior, and is usually preferred in a separate area.